I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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