I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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