I am puke
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize