If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize