I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
It's no shave November. This is our time.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize