is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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