Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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