if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
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