Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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