Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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