im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
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Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
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Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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