Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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