just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize