I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Alive.
So much puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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