Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize