I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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