Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
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It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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