Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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