put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize