um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
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Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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