she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
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