I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize