you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
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I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
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No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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