You're completely useless in the revolution.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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