I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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