I feel great
I just peed on a car
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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