Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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