my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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