I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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