thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
My vagina just recognized that song.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize