Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I puked a lego.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize