piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
You need Xanax blowdarts
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize