I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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