i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize