I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
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