I cockslap morals
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize