Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize