Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
he had hair everywhere except his balls
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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