4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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