Texts From Last Night

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  (831): View more from California

  She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.

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  (831): She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps. http://tfl.nu/t8aw
  Replies (16) Good night (3128) Bad night (503) Order T-Shirt
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"

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  (636): she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you" http://tfl.nu/5amp
  Replies (41) Good night (717) Bad night (8447)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed

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  (412): I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed http://tfl.nu/up7a
  Replies (12) Good night (3507) Bad night (528) Order T-Shirt
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  (713): View more from Texas

  when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed

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  (713): when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed http://tfl.nu/1ijl
  Replies (13) Good night (5096) Bad night (1201) Order T-Shirt
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.

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  (423): i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions. http://tfl.nu/w3io
  Replies (17) Good night (1079) Bad night (8006) Order T-Shirt
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving

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  (+44): I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving http://tfl.nu/jxug
  Replies (6) Good night (3335) Bad night (851) Order T-Shirt
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  (425): View more from Washington

  She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.

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  (425): She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why. http://tfl.nu/ircc
  Replies (6) Good night (1589) Bad night (922) Order T-Shirt
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm

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  (678): in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm http://tfl.nu/30ts
  Replies (3) Good night (1821) Bad night (975) Order T-Shirt
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds

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  (306): He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds http://tfl.nu/ogvx
  Replies (6) Good night (2231) Bad night (891) Order T-Shirt
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  (831): View more from California

  i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something

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  (831): i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something http://tfl.nu/b053
  Replies (10) Good night (1500) Bad night (568) Order T-Shirt
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.

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  (306): The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious. http://tfl.nu/pkyz
  Replies (32) Good night (1861) Bad night (488) Order T-Shirt
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  (808): View more from Hawaii

  Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday

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  (808): Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday http://tfl.nu/8jtv
  Replies (11) Good night (1614) Bad night (564) Order T-Shirt
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.

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  (512): Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick. http://tfl.nu/ysyl
  Replies (11) Good night (467) Bad night (3207)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.

  (1-419): View more from Ohio

  I'm out of town so we should be golden.

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  (419): I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me. (1-419): I'm out of town so we should be golden. http://tfl.nu/4amm
  Replies (5) Good night (2013) Bad night (315)
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.

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  (337): He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked. http://tfl.nu/vhc3
  Replies (3) Good night (735) Bad night (323) Order T-Shirt

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