I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize