Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I am available for nakedness
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