Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize