Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize