So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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