my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize