so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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