Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
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You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
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Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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