i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
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She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
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