Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
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