Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
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I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
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Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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