we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Randomize