Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize