My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize